Olympic Ping Pong

>(cell phone)
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It's on odd though to think that my father will be 45 soon. I'll be there one day. It's so far away, but I can see it coming quick. Hell, I just realized that the past 15 months have been a blur, and I'll be 20 in just under a year. Twenty years old and I still feel like a fucking child.

I need to get out of my nest here in scenic Dearborn and do something new. I need to move out of here; move to a distant college town where people are my age and I won't be so cutoff from everything. All my old friends moved out of town to their respective schools, and I know they love it. Why didn't I do it from the start? I can feel them slipping away too. Even the friends I hung with last year don't talk to me anymore. They don't call or text me. They never see me at school. They just went their seperate ways, even though they live right here, so close and still so distant.

I don't care for LCD Soundsystem. They are intensely boring.

Back to dissecting my ever more apparent sense of mortality, I am baffled by the though of the people I know actually dying. One day, they will simply cease to be who they are. No more thoughts, emotions, movements, words. Just their body. The minds' hardware. Everything that really made them who they were, a human being, will be lost forever. Then, the body dissolves and thats that. It's all so futile.

I seem to have nothing optimistic to say.

No, actually I do.

Fall is beautiful. This really is my favorite time of the year by far. The wheather, leaves, crisp air, holidays. It's awesome. I think I do more now. I love the outdoors, I take my dog for walks in the woods, sit on the porch and talk with my friends, and leave the windows in my room cracked just so that the air is chill and my soft, warm bed is all the more inviting.

That reminds me, I have a heated blanket sitting in my closet. It's a real pain in the ass sometimes, but I still use it daily during the winter. It's got two different temperature controllers so that each side of the bed can be individually heated, but all that leads to is a rats nest of tangled electrical cords.

It's got a little feature that makes it so that after 8 hours of use it auto shuts off and "locks" itself so that you can't overuse it until it bursts into flames. Well, that's what it's supposed to do. I'm not quite sure what happened to the sensor, but at random times the thing will go into lockdown mode. Or if I'm especially lucky, only half of the blanket will work thanks to two different controls reading two different sensors. My right shoulder and thigh are sweating, yet my torso and left half of my body seem to be frostbitten. Splendid. I've only used this thing for 3 months, last winter when it was brand new, so I like to think that this is by no means my fault.