Reach for the Schuyler!

>the definition of fucked
>wurkin
>listening to dre and writing a paper. i am happy
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So there's this guy at work, the new guy in the kitchen. Well, he's actually been here for almost a month now, but he still acts like a new guy. I digress.

So, he was initially hired because he was a general manager at a Papa Romanos and was stuck working 70 hour weeks, so he wanted out. Everyone had high hopes for him, he's worked in food, he was a general manager, so he might know more than just kitchen duties, and he's used to working long hours, so he'd be good working the shorter shifts we have.

His first week of training, he was alright. Quiet, but alright. We figured he'd be more talkative once he got to know everyone, and would get a lot better at his job once he got used to the swing of things.

Nope. Wrong.

Well, only kind of. He's a bit more talkative now, but still moves like a snail when working. He still messes stuff up more often then he should, and still doesn't understand how to do a lot of stuff that should be self explanatory. One of the problems could be his eyes, or lack of vision. He obviously needs a new prescription because even with his glasses, he spends about 15 seconds squinting at a receipt before he can read it. When food is being rung in ever couple seconds, and stuff is coming out of the oven every other couple seconds, we obviously don't have the time to spend 10 minutes reading a pizza ticket because our eyes don't work.

Okay, yes, I am being very harsh and judgmental on this kid and his physical capabilities, or lack thereof. My points are well founded though, so I don't care. At least he has a personality. Or wait, never mind, he doesn't.

This guy doesn't know how to tell a story, or even a sentence without putting me to sleep. He says words, but they fall flat and go nowhere. Heres some examples (I am the">", he is the "-")
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>Man, I cannot wait to get out of class in 2 weeks. Freedom, friends in town, I can go out and drink and party all the time. It'll be a grand 'ole drunken time.
-Oh, you like drinking eh?
>(kinda freaked out at this odd question) Yeah, it's fun, and I love my friends.
-Yeah, the other day me and my friends went out and got some booze.
>Oh yeah?
-Yeah.
>...
-(for some reason, just walks away, off in some random direction)
>...
=====
Seriously? Seriously? That's it? You got booze? What happened? Who got thrown off a third story balcony? Who accidentally slept with their cousin? Who slammed the fifth of vodka in 10 minutes? Something has to have happened. Or it didn't. Maybe he just bought booze, drank it, then went and sat in the corner and cried. I don't know. What I do know is I don't need his mental drool polluting my eardrums.

Also, today, he told me and Scott a story about registering for classes at HFCC. It was excessively lame, but he had one classic line where his information got locked into the registration servers and couldn't be modified or moved. Apparently he was "trapped in cyberspace". We had quite the laugh behind his back, entirely at his expense. It was too good to pass up. Seriously.

Oh, and I know that he was thinking of that line for days. I just know. 3 nights ago, or maybe the next afternoon, he thought of being trapped in cyberspace and said, in his go nowhere, monotone inner monologue "I have to use this one! BALLIN'!". Seriously. I bet he even thought the word "ballin'".