Wrasslin'

>lets see how this melatonin works
>%n
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Went out to some stripclub, Deja Vu, last night for their jello wrestling. We had some free passes, so it was only $6 for their bottomless drinks. Drinks being coke, mello yellow, and sprite, since they're full nude and can't serve alcohol. I'm only 19 anyway.

It was Andy's first time at a strip club, so we all pitched in $5 to get him a lapdance. I'm pretty sure he loved it. Besides that, the sex shop was equally hilarious. Probably a good 700 porno movies, some with the funniest titles ever. Ejacula? Whore Gaggers 5? Fuck my Skull 7? Rock n' Roll in my Butthole? Hell yes.

I also picked up Relapse, and it's a pretty solid album. I'm kind of wary about the whole "concept album" bullshit, but Eminem does a pretty solid job of keeping with his Slim Shady character. I can't wait for the second one later this year, and Detox if it ever happens.

Also got 21st Century Breakdown, though I haven't really listened to it yet. Judging from the reviews I've seen, it's supposed to be pretty good, and it's apparently Green Days "favorite album so far", although I got that quote from someone who likes to cite everything as fact without question.

Oh, and my Pokemon Platinum file - the goddam game doesn't work on the DSi. It's some bootleg copy I got from a friend off ebay, and the DSi recognizes the game, but won't let me play it since I'm assuming it can tell it's pirated. I already put 20 hours into it which sucks, but I'm only just after the third gym, so it's not so far that I'm fucked. I guess I'm gonna buy an AceKard or something that works with the DSi, and transfer my pokemon to a new Platinum file, then just tear through the beginning of the game with a bunch of level 30s. Plus I can get duplicates of all the gym leader TMs. Always nice.

Lists of things that keep me awake

>just kickin some ass
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A list of the random shit that goes through my head

-I don't understand Kid Rock. His image is pretty much being a badass of sorts, and a lot of his music pretty much goes with it. However, on his latests album Rock and Roll Jesus he's got songs like "Amen" and "All Summer Long" which are loaded full of sentimental, religious bullshit. Totally not Kid Rock there. Besides, his next songs, "So Hott" and "Sugar" are loaded with lines like:

SO HOT I wanna get you alone
SO HOT I wanna get you stoned
SO HOT I dont wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again

or these excerpts from Sugar:

And I fuck hot pussy until it's cold
You can kiss my Anglo-Saxon ass
I'm the illest mutha fucker on the God damn planet

(Now keep in mind, the lyrics right there are from 2 songs directly after the sentimental religious shit I mentioned earlier.)

Now that's the shit I like to see! This is the Kid Rock we all love/loathe. I don't think anyone wants to pay money to have him talk about sending his kids to church or some girlfriend he had back in the day. We want the real Kid Rock. The 40 oz. malt liquor chugging, swear up a storm, donkey punch your wife Kid Rock. Now we're talking!


-Have you ever had to take a massive shit? Of course you have. However, when you sit, have you ever had a really difficult time gettin' that little fucker out? Like, it's almost too big for your asshole to process? It's usually really hard too. Like someone put a baseball sized rock in your rectum. Well, after the horrifying experience is over, don't you ever feel like your asshole is "spaced out"? It feels larger than before, like you forced something so big through it that it stretched it.

Let me say this: I had one so bad the other day, that after I left, it felt like I had been at a goddamned porno shoot for hours. It felt that large. Yeah, I know that's fucked up.

-What would it be like to write scripts for pornos? Like the cheesy ass dialogue. I really want to know how they do it for stuff like Big Sausage Pizza, First Fat Chick, and anything that picks up "random girls" on the street.