12.08.2009

Clarity Wasted

Concerta and Piracetam. So clear, fluid, fast, smooth. It was unreal. It still is.

I'm wasting it on my speech. Should have not procrastinated.

12.02.2009

Around and Beyond

sweet nothing
---
The paper I wrote about writing got a solid 95 for a grade.
I haven't listened to Frou Frou for a long time and it was oddly refreshing and comforting to hear.
Mario Kart DS is the fuckin shit. You couldn't convince me not to play it. I rediscovered magic.
Speaking of which, I decided to pick up reading the Bible. Genesis is interesting so far, I'm on chapter 17.
I've been asleep more than I've been awake the past week. Relaxing, but scary and unproductive.

11.18.2009

Good at What I Do.

ive got this friend named alza...
---
I'm so good at waiting until the last minute that I put the pro in procrastination.

Basically, I wrote some ridiculous 3800 word essay on the philosophies behind The
Matrix
in one sitting yesterday. Shit sucked, paper rocks. Maybe my professor will think the same.

All I want is a big capital A on the front of it.

11.11.2009

Lights Out

learning nothing
---
So it was around 1 a.m. and I was hunting for snacks. Right there, on the bay window was a Reese's cup. First thing, verbatim, in my mind was "Fuck yeah! This shit is mine!" I took it and ate it, took a step back, and thought "Wow. Whose was that?". The most annoying shit in the world, when people eat my food without asking or even telling me it's gone, had just been done by me. Don't hate the hypocrite.

Looking through our towel drawer in the kitchen, I found a ridiculous assortment of potentially useful items missing key elements to actually being useful. We have a lot of candles, and enough birthday candles to easily celebrate someone's 110th birthday. Also, at least 6 flashlights. However, we do not have a single lighter or package of batteries in the entire house. I checked.

I guess we're prepared for a power failure, so long as it doesn't get dark.

11.06.2009

Everything at Once

we had a good run
---
So much to do and so much time to do it. That must be why I take 3 hour naps, go on 4chan until the sun rises, and play multiple hour BlazBlue sessions.

I need a work ethic.

10.20.2009

Pay Attention Now...

They preach what they're told, not what they know

---
I get it buddy. You're the victim of some complicated, convoluted, and oh so compelling whirlwind of neglect, bad relationships, and even worse situations. Spare me the details, I don't care about your rainbow flag, "save the children" fanfares, or effortless excellence in theatrics and drama.

Really, it's hard not to get annoyed sometimes.


10.15.2009

Wine NA

imazombie
---
I'm drinking an apple and white grape juice box. This stuff tastes like wine without the alcohol and some sugar added. Goddamn it's good.

10.10.2009

Is Credit to Team!

some speak in tongues, while so many others spit out bullshit
---
I think I need to be more alert when I tell people shit, because I'm pretty positive that people take what I say and give themselves credit.

For instance, my rule for calling shotgun is if you can realistically hit it with a tennis ball, you can call it. No windows, walls, fences, blocked lines of sight, or anything of that sort. It makes sense to me at least - if you can hit the car, chances are you're within a distance where the cars getting boarded within a couple seconds.

Well, I brought that up the other day, and got the surprise of being informed how that goes "all the way back to middle school". Funny. I only came up with that about 4-5 years ago, I didn't know this person in middle school, and WE DIDN'T HAVE FUCKING CARS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. WE WERE 12 YEARS OLD.

10.09.2009

I've got shit to do!

awesome nap, awesome dreams
---
I've got shit to do right now- I'm just not doing it.

This is a problem.

Actually its a reoccurring theme.

I need my life proofread and edited.

10.07.2009

Bizarre Combinations

"sleep"
---
I pulled into the gas station today, and next to me was some lady, late 20's, talking on her cell phone, red faced and crying, pumping gas. It kind of made my day, I honestly never thought I'd get to see a grown woman in tears pumping gasoline. You gotta believe!

9.29.2009

Lotsa Stuff

Leaves are changin'
---
So, today I took a 30mg Ritalin LA. Didn't get the intensity I was expecting, but I was a hell of a lot more focused on whatever I did for 3 hours. I started out cleaning my room, then wanted to move onto homework. However, I figured I'd multitask and throw a load of laundry in.

Next thing I know, my entire dresser and closet are empty and I've organized and folded every piece of clothing I own. Then I tried them on to see how they fit, then got rid of the shitty ones, then reorganized everything back into the closet and dresser. I ended up having enough room to hang most of my favorite T-shirts on hangars now instead of folding them up into my drawers.

Speaking of clothes, I really don't like it when people buy me clothing. They're pretty much a billboard for who you are (unfortunately), and I prefer to have as much control over my advertising as I can. My most recent gift of clothing was far less terrible then I anxiously anticipated, but still, It's a principle of mine.

I'm just now starting on my homework for the day, including some 15 page philosophy essay I have to read and write a synopsis of. It's gonna be a long one. Especially when I'm going to interrupt myself with a quick trip to the gym, and more than likely find time to check out the new Left 4 Dead update. Oh, and there's always my long list of art assignments I have to finish by Thursday. Go me!

9.24.2009

XX

>je ne sais pas
---
Well, I am 20 years old now. I don't even know what to do with myself. I feel like I've always had some image of what I would be like when I'm "older", but I have no idea how anything will end up. I'm pretty sure I need to move out of Michigan though. The way I see it, the ships going down, and I need to jump out soon.

For my birthday, I got a bunch of food, a new shirt, and my favorite present so far, some 30mg Ritalin LA. Never taken Ritalin before, or any type of pill in fact, but I've been eager to see what kind of effects they have on me and how I can use it to my advantage. I've heard mixed reactions to this stuff, everything from turning kids to emotionless zombies, destroying imaginations, and antisocial behaviour, yet also great bursts of concentration, creative control, and memory. I'll probably try the first experiment next week.

9.17.2009

Genre Bending

Signals weak. Don't want to jump the gun.
---
I want to write a show that's part horror and part sitcom. Maybe have Manson and Dexter as college kids with one other dorm mate who is normal.

9.07.2009

Skoo

>Tiffany Blews- oh oh oh oh oh
---
First day of classes tomorrow. Boo. Don't have any books, supplies, got dropped from the waitlist for the creative writing class I've been dying to take. Fuck.

At least I have some good philosophy class and a drawing class. Those should tide me over while I take whatever communications class I signed up for and speech.

As an added bonus, I'm going to work my ass off this semester and see if it works. No partying, no super late nights all the time. I'm gonna be sober, working out, eating right, and have a strict list of priorities that actually make sense.

I hoping this will lead to better health, an easier life, better grades, and a way to get a new job soon, because work is fucking ridiculous. We have a new manager who has been with the company less than a year (I'm coming up on 2 unfortunately...), and he doesn't seem to know much of what he's doing. Yeah, everything is simple enough to where he can do it with whatever training he's had, but I'm pissed at the fact that I'm easily more knowledgeable about my job than he is, yet because he's got some bullshit degree from whatever college he is my superior. He made some pretty shitty pizzas today, put 'em in the oven, and then proceeded to tell me to watch what I'm doing because they looked terrible coming out 10 minutes later.

Now I'm stuck with an invalid boss whose first impressions are of some angry guy who can't do his job right. I didn't work my ass off here to get shit on at the bottom of the totem pole.

8.21.2009

I'm Falling

I swear I just smelled the scent of autumn. I instantly felt a wave of flashbacks to last year, walking down the dark streets in the neighborhood, leaves blowing around, the chilled air, and the smell of smoke.

As much as I hope, I don't think this year will be quite like that. Seasons come and go, and so do friends. I don't think I'll be able to replace many of the people in my life.

7.19.2009

Shit Happens.

Nymphets do not occur in polar regions
---
So, due to the festivities at Camp Dearborn I hosted last Tuesday through Friday, along with the completely retarded "thought processes" of some people, I'm pretty much banned for at least a year, if not longer. Yeah, it really sucks, especially since I already want to go back on my days off.

I came up with a new MTV reality show called "Placebro Effect". But more on that later.

Oh, and I also found an old CD labeled "Myndflame and Skatman" from close to 3 years ago. I will listen to it whenever I drive and see what music it has to offer.

6.30.2009

Another Sad Tale

>kleening
>sigh...
---
I think I'm seriously depressed or something. No matter what I do, I don't feel like I'm ever actually happy. It sucks. Always tired and bored, never interested in anything. Goddamn.

2 weeks ago, the Tracker died while I was preparing for a trip to Camp Dearborn. Now I have a Hyundai Elantra which is a big upgrade for me. I will have full ownership in October 2012.

How depressing, it's actually 2009, and half over. I remember 2001 seeming like yesterday, and the idea of 2010 seemed unimaginably far off.

[edit: 100 wonderfully emo posts!]

Another Sad Tale

6.06.2009

Really Late E3 Impressions

>
---
Alright, since my internets have been out, time for some late, angry commentary on E3 this year.

Nintendo kind of pissed me off this year with what they had to show. Super Mario Galaxy 2? Another New Super Mario Brothers, only for Wii? No Kirby, F-Zero, Starfox, Pikmin, or Pokemon announcements? Bullshit.

The new Metroid looks interesting, but I think it looks a little too different from the rest of the series. It's always been about being alone on some dangerous world, not walking around some city. Oh, and when the obligatory black space marine goes "Remember me?" I almost died. How stupid. The combat looks cool since Team Ninja probably knows a thing or two about awesome fight scenes, so hopefully theres enough of that to make the game live up to my lofty expectations.

What really made me mad was the new Galaxy and Mario Bros. Nintendo never makes rehashes of their games, that was what makes them great. Every time a new game launches, it's nothing like the old ones. We don't have Super Mario Sunshine 2 do we? Or Link to the Past 2? No, that's because they were smart enough to realize we don't want the same goddamn thing twice in a row. There's a reason I don't like Halo, and a reason they're called Nintendo and not Bungie. Please, stop with Galaxy 2, and start making new stuff, not sequels. Hell, even their sequels somehow remain fresh- look at the Paper Mario games.

As for Sony, I don't really know what to comment on. More PSP stuff. More God of War, Final Fantasy, and whatever else they love. I've never been a Sony person, and I haven't ever owned a Sony console, so I'm pretty indifferent. Except when it comes to their controller. I hate their controller.

6.01.2009

E3 2009- Day 1

>l4d2? GODDAMN
---
Alright, totally forgot e3 was actually this Monday, a.k.a. today, even though I've been reading about it for days.

My predictions for this year went something like this:

Microsoft: We are the best hardcore gamin' console EVAR. We show of 15 BRAND SPANKIN' NEW FPS GAMES WITH INSAAAAANE GRAPHICS. Also, more Guitar Hero sequels, and sequels to everything else under the sun. Expensive DLC, more arcade bullshit, maybe some streaming video.

Sony: PS3 is best console in world. Ever. No one even understands our true power to be awakened. WE have great grafix and crazy processor. METAL GEARZ N FINaL FANTSYYYY 13 omg omg omg. PsP redesign will totally overtake DS fo sho. No price drop. Just some new games. Oh, and blu-ray is here to stay.

Nintendo: Uh, our pants don't fit anymore because our pockets are so full of the cash we're stuffing them with. Wii motion plus, AGAIN. No new, good, first party titles. You're lucky we went as hardcore as "Excitebots". DSi rocks hardcore, probably some exclusive games in development for that, though nothing mind blowing. Still no hard drive, or quality online system.

~~~
Well, today was kind of a surprise with the Microsoft press conference and all. The Natal camera controller gizmo looks interesting, though like others have said, I have reason to doubt how powerful it actually is, and how long it will be here to stay for since the 360 is already in what, its third year? Almost fourth? They have to be getting ready to announce a new console by now. Plus, I have to see the price on it. I bet it's not cheap.

Next up is the announcement of Left 4 Dead 2. What. The. Fuck. Valve. Really? REALLY? I'm not sure how to react to this one. On one hand, I love the game, and the new one has a lot of promising features like the Director 2.0, more campaigns, better graphics, and weapons. But really, It hasn't even been a whole year and their already coming out with a new one when the first one doesn't even have half of what I expected it to. They never released the new matchmaking system, a new campaign, new weapons, or any real game changing twists. Survival mode is cool, but it gives us ONE new level, which consists of a house and a bunch of gas cans. Oh, and still no SDK support, which is what people need in order to program their own mods and user created levels. Basically, $50 for a game we were told was going to have all these awesome features, they delivered minimally on some of them, blew off the rest as of now, and now decided to announce a whole new sequel which apparently delivers all the stuff we've been waiting for. Very un-Valve like. Just look at Team Fortress 2, they do huge updates to it every 2 months. Full class updates, new weapons, new game modes, they always add at least 3 new official maps, plus reoptimizing the game for newer computers.

Sigh...

Okay, and last but not least is the PSP Go. I don't know what to think of this thing. So far, I don't see it doing any better than the original PSP. The DS/DSi has an iron grip on the handheld gaming market, not only because of its massive sales, but because developers actually put out good, intriguing software for it. The touch screen/dual screen combo works so incredibly well, and the amount of new features opened up with the DSi and its SD card slot and improved sound drivers are very big. I don't see how the Go will manage to do any harm, unless they have some impressive pricing on it and its games, which I wouldn't bet on. One of the selling points of it is its 16GB internal memory. Really, I don't think that's a whole lot for a handheld gaming system that is trying to deliver what the Go claims it will. Yes, there are memory cards for expanding space, and the internal storage is actually really nice (especially compared to the pathetic amount the Wii gives us), but I don't think that it will be able to hold that many games. Granted, they cram a lot of shit in a 1 gigabit DS cart, but the PSP has got to deliver superior graphics(which take up a lot more space), or it's got nothing on the competition.

Well then, I can't wait to see what big old Nintendo and Sony have to showcase for us tomorrow. I'll probably watch the press conferences live, or at least Nintendo's.