4.16.2008

Reach for the Schuyler!

>the definition of fucked
>wurkin
>listening to dre and writing a paper. i am happy
---
So there's this guy at work, the new guy in the kitchen. Well, he's actually been here for almost a month now, but he still acts like a new guy. I digress.

So, he was initially hired because he was a general manager at a Papa Romanos and was stuck working 70 hour weeks, so he wanted out. Everyone had high hopes for him, he's worked in food, he was a general manager, so he might know more than just kitchen duties, and he's used to working long hours, so he'd be good working the shorter shifts we have.

His first week of training, he was alright. Quiet, but alright. We figured he'd be more talkative once he got to know everyone, and would get a lot better at his job once he got used to the swing of things.

Nope. Wrong.

Well, only kind of. He's a bit more talkative now, but still moves like a snail when working. He still messes stuff up more often then he should, and still doesn't understand how to do a lot of stuff that should be self explanatory. One of the problems could be his eyes, or lack of vision. He obviously needs a new prescription because even with his glasses, he spends about 15 seconds squinting at a receipt before he can read it. When food is being rung in ever couple seconds, and stuff is coming out of the oven every other couple seconds, we obviously don't have the time to spend 10 minutes reading a pizza ticket because our eyes don't work.

Okay, yes, I am being very harsh and judgmental on this kid and his physical capabilities, or lack thereof. My points are well founded though, so I don't care. At least he has a personality. Or wait, never mind, he doesn't.

This guy doesn't know how to tell a story, or even a sentence without putting me to sleep. He says words, but they fall flat and go nowhere. Heres some examples (I am the">", he is the "-")
=====
>Man, I cannot wait to get out of class in 2 weeks. Freedom, friends in town, I can go out and drink and party all the time. It'll be a grand 'ole drunken time.
-Oh, you like drinking eh?
>(kinda freaked out at this odd question) Yeah, it's fun, and I love my friends.
-Yeah, the other day me and my friends went out and got some booze.
>Oh yeah?
-Yeah.
>...
-(for some reason, just walks away, off in some random direction)
>...
=====
Seriously? Seriously? That's it? You got booze? What happened? Who got thrown off a third story balcony? Who accidentally slept with their cousin? Who slammed the fifth of vodka in 10 minutes? Something has to have happened. Or it didn't. Maybe he just bought booze, drank it, then went and sat in the corner and cried. I don't know. What I do know is I don't need his mental drool polluting my eardrums.

Also, today, he told me and Scott a story about registering for classes at HFCC. It was excessively lame, but he had one classic line where his information got locked into the registration servers and couldn't be modified or moved. Apparently he was "trapped in cyberspace". We had quite the laugh behind his back, entirely at his expense. It was too good to pass up. Seriously.

Oh, and I know that he was thinking of that line for days. I just know. 3 nights ago, or maybe the next afternoon, he thought of being trapped in cyberspace and said, in his go nowhere, monotone inner monologue "I have to use this one! BALLIN'!". Seriously. I bet he even thought the word "ballin'".

4.13.2008

Kwadruple Pheature

>work, then things after
>the things after work now
>so close... CRUNCH TIME
---
I've seen a record number of movies in the past week - FOUR! Here's what I thought of 'em:

Waiting...: Pretty funny, and somewhat true to life. As a restaurant worker, I could definitely see the similarities and people I know in what was going on. Dane Cook was actually tolerable too, which was a big surprise for me. Overall, I liked it.

Deja Vu: An action/thriller movie about some machine that allows people to look through a wormhole 4 days into the past in real time. The government uses it to investigate a terrorist attack on a boat in New Orleans. It was interesting, but the movie never gets too violent, too fast, too slow, too science-y, or too much of anything else. It kind of kept everything at a mediocre level, which sucked. Also, it was too long, at just around 2 hours. Taking 15 minutes off by speeding stuff up would have done wonders.

Dan in Real Life: I actually wanted to see this when it was first in theaters but never did. I really like it. It's a very lighthearted romantic/family/comedy movie which I enjoy, plus Steve Carell is a good actor and a funny guy. He was perfect for the role. Dane Cook was also in this movie as the somewhat dickheaded brother. He was tolerable in this role too, so I guess it's just his standup I have a problem with.

Walk Hard: I thought it was an alright movie overall. It has moments that are "random funny", "silly funny", and "vulgar funny", but nothing I found to be absolutely laugh out loud worthy. Still, I enjoyed it for what it had to offer, and that's probably why I don't outright hate it.

4.10.2008

Baby Politicians

>wow, i fucking suck at css
---
Today, at school, were the student government elections. What a joke. For some reason, I was 20 minutes early to class - a rare occasion. As soon as I enter the building, I'm bombarded with fliers, people talking, hand gestures, and whatever else goes along with getting people to vote for you.

Some girl I've never seen before (big surprise) walks up to me. She's running for something. Not president. I don't know, maybe senator. She asks me if I'm going to class. No shit I'm going to class, does she think I like to walk around inside college campus buildings at 9 a.m. for fun? She doesn't get the hint that I want to keep walking and would prefer it if she stayed stationary. She follows me, opens up one of her little booklets, and props it in front of me so she can show and read it to me as I walk to class. Christ!. I get rid of her by going to the bathroom, then get rid of her pamphlets by introducing them to the garbage bin.

Fortunately, I found a way to Solid Snake my way around them for the rest of the day. Mostly because of fear.

4.09.2008

I Panicked about Panic!

>philosophical endeavors
---
In regards to my thoughts on the new Panic at the Disco album Pretty.Odd, after giving it 30 or so listens, I like the new them. Not as much so as I did the original, but I still like 'em. They go from country sounds, to sounding like The Beatles, then to the Beach Boys. Some of their old lyrical style shows at a few small points, but for the most part its tragically toned down. Musically, they're vastly different as well, with nothing electronic on the whole album, and a whole lot more guitar action goin' on.

It's different, but it'll do.

3.30.2008

Bone and Thorn

>O! Green World!
>I'm laughing at a rude awakening.
---
So the other day, like any other day, I got really bored of television, computers, videogames, or anything electronic, and decided I wanted to read something. That something happened to be the complete Bone series by Jeff Smith. Yes, all 1400 pages or goodness.

A quick back story of how I came to know Bone: I first read it in Disney Adventures Magazine probably 8 years ago now, and was really fascinated by Fone Bone and Thorn. This probably has to do with me not knowing anything about the series prior to reading it for the first time along with the fact that the piece I read takes place a little ways after the beginning which gave me no back story. Anyway, I've wanted to find out what this series was all about for the longest time. So, last Xmas, I bought the complete series for my brother thinking he would enjoy reading it since he likes much of the same stuff I do.

Anyway, some afterthoughts- I thought the story was awesome and very well paced. It keeps the main characters in the same places and predicaments for a few chapters and then resolves it and flows into the next plot almost seamlessly which really helps make the story varied and exciting, yet fluid and logical.

The artwork was beautiful as well, even in just plain black and white. I'm seriously considering picking up the full color series once I have the money and they're all released. I've seen them fully colored, and borrowed The Great Cow Race volume from my brothers friend, so I'm positive that the coloring is great looking, and probably enhances the series.

The characters were all interesting, especially Phoney Bone who was by far my favorite. Second to him would be Lucius, the tavern owner, and actually Phoney's foil throughout the series. The shape of his body, facial expressions, and entire character were really entertaining and visually interesting. My only character problem would be with Thorn, who I really wish would have been developed further. She goes from innocent farm girl, to mopey, then to heroine, and ends up as down to earth, still innocent farm girl, except shes the queen of the kingdom and savior of the world. She just made too many quick transitions for me to really follow her 100%. Jumpiness aside, I still really liked her.

Now I guess I'll have to finish Hitchhikers Guide soon too won't I?

3.27.2008

I Threw Away my Childhood?

>hey eric, remember when i went over your house and we bought that neopets cereal? that shit was fucking stupid
>grotesque
---
Today while taking out the trash, I noticed some Pokemon cards in one of the clear plastic bags. Not just any cards though, some of my favorite cards, specifically a Lieutenant Surge's Electabuzz. For some reason, this didn't phase me, and now that I look back to 5 hours ago I feel a kind of awkward sadness.

See, I held onto the goddamn cards for this long, since fourth or fifth grade. That's 8 or 9 years spent keeping these things safe and in great condition. They're worth next to nothing in money, but always represented a really important part of who I was growing up. I used to play all the Pokemon games, watched the anime, and even played the card game - semi professionally. I played because I guess I was just that good when I was that age compared with all of the other underachieving dumbshits who thought they could play.

Anyway, it's odd that I didn't feel anything about these cards as I saw them there, sitting in the trash. I just threw away part of my childhood. A big part. And it didn't phase me.

I'm tempted to go out on a limb and say that maybe I'm actually starting to grow up.

Maybe I'm an adult now, maybe I'm not. All I really know is how much it saddens me to think of this happening. I didn't think I'd ever actually change. I thought I could just sit and play in my own little world forever and things would just take care of themselves, but it doesn't look like my dream is going to last much longer, let alone forever.

I have to work on my life.

3.24.2008

Cannot Focus!

>new PATD on mtv website
>frankenmuth for some zenders
---
I'm supposed to be writing some sort of Political Science op-ed piece, but since I'm so easily distracted, and pretty apathetic towards the class I think I'll do something else. Also, it doesn't help I haven't listened to a lecture in a month and don't own the book yet.

So on the MTV website they had it set up so you could go on and listen to the entire new Panic at the Disco album. When I first heard this I was ecstatic at the chance to listen to one of my favorite artists new album a week before it came out. Unfortunately, my over joyous mood didn't stay at the apex it was at as I listened to the new stuff. There's nothing electronic. No beat machines, no synth, no super fast, off the wall, multi-syllabic words, nothing like that. They sound like a normal band, only somewhat mellow, and possibly even mainstream.

Now, I have no problem with them becoming mainstream. I wish them all the best in their music making career, but I liked them so much better as their original, techno-y selves. They were bizarre lyrically, musically, and image-wise, and that's part of what made them stand out so much.

I'm not completely sold on the new album - yet. I'll give it a few more listens, read the lyrics, watch whatever music videos they have, and then make my final decisions. However, I'm sad that the old Panic! was replaced with the new "Panic".

3.13.2008

Brawl!

>SSBB FOREVER
---
Super Smash Brothers Brawl has completely taken over my life. I should be studying a million things right now. I should be sleeping. I could take the dog for a walk, or better yet, work out. There are books to be read, rooms to be cleaned, showers to be taken, and meals to be consumed, but KO-ing my way to victory seems to be of utmost importance at the moment.

I beat the story mode on hard mode without any help, cleared all 41 single player events, and all the multi ones with my brother. I got all the characters today and have classic beat with 6 of them. Now I just need boss rush mode done, the rest of classic, all star mode, finishing the trophy collection, sticker collection, getting that last 8% completion in the SSE, 100 man brawl, and shaping up my game for kicking other peoples asses.

There's a tournament next week at school with actual prizes and such, so I'm really psyched for that. I really want to see how I stack up to other players since no one that lived around me was very good at Melee. I think it helps that I never got too good at advanced techniques such as SHFFL and wave-dashing so the gameplay changes to Brawl don't mess with my play style as much as it will with others. Now, to go practice a bit more with good old Wario.

2.28.2008

Matthew, Isabelle, and Theo.

>junpei
>feeling sick, watching the dreamers
---
As my AFK status implied, I'm feeling sick to the point where I could vomit, and I watched The Dreamers.

I discovered this movie about 4 months ago on the Independent Film Channel, or IFC. I was up in Ann Arbor partying for the weekend with friends, and when we turned in for the night and turned on the TV we happened to stumble upon the particular scene where Isabelle takes off Matthew's boxers in the kitchen. We had no idea what the movie was, or what the IFC was for that matter, so we just figured "Ooh! Implied sex scene on late at night R-rated movie". Once they started having sex on the floor, we were corrected. Now, this scene is about halfway through the movie, I was really drunk and tired, and it had actually been a long day, so I fell asleep maybe 30 minutes later.

Of course, this film intrigued me to no end after that point. It was so perplexing with it's talks of revolution in France, overt sexuality, and the fact that I came in watching it part of the way through which just shrouded it deeper in mystery. Naturally the first thing I did when I got home was research the IFC. Then once I had the title of the movie (The Dreamers), I researched that. Finally, a quick order off Amazon.

Now that I finally got my lazy self around to sitting down and watching it, I'm thoroughly happy with my purchase. This movie was beautiful to me in many ways. The weird, tense, sexual, interactions between the characters makes for something not seen in everyday entertainment, the frequent talks between the characters about cinema, music, and revolution, are intriguing subjects themselves, and I really liked the cinematography throughout the film, especially the use of mirrors.

For some reason, the films use of mirrors entertained me extensively. People seem to avoid mirrors, for good reason, but their presence in many of the indoor shots added an extra depth to the scene, mostly due to them being used to show the characters not directly in the shot. Maybe not on par with the mirror scene in Contact, but the entire bathtub segment is brilliant in that all 3 characters are visible throughout it through the use of the mirrors on the side of the wall. It's a strange way to see the action, but I found it oddly enjoyable.

I really liked The Dreamers, and I suggest people go out and see/buy/rent it if they can. It's definitely not the deepest, most revolutionary, or mind blowing film out there, but it conveys themes not found in other movies, and because of this, makes it something very special.

2.27.2008

Oh, the Slump!

>REGULATORS! Mount up!
>it was a clear black night, a clear white moon
---
So, I'm on my "school's" "spring break" this week. Let's define the terms used first, and then see what's wrong.

I used the term "school" because I guess that the University of Michigan Dearborn would be considered a school of sorts. I don't consider it one however. This place fucking fails at everything possibly conceivable. The people are twats, the campus is small and boring, there isn't ever anything legitimately interesting ever going on around campus, and it's in Dearborn, one of the most boring places on earth for us underage peoples. Sure I could go to the bar and stuff if I went to the right places, but it's expensive, and I should have other choices besides destructive drinking every weekend of my life.

Why is this "spring break"? Because while it's labeled "spring break", we are not even remotely in the spring season (hence the 5 inches of snow on the ground and bitter cold days and nights). Most other colleges have theirs either next week, which is a little better, or in 2 weeks. I don't understand why ours is so early.

Yeah, so my break is kind of sucking. It's not just because of the total lack of things to do where I live, but also because without anything to actually do, I get really lazy. I get home at 1 a.m., which for me is pretty damned early, and I will sleep until 1:30 p.m. By the time I wake up and realize I've slept through the "me time" part of the day (ie- playing Pikmin 2 and Team Fortress 2) and there's just enough time to shower, eat, check my internet stuff, and be off to work. The vicious cycle has been going on the past couple days, which with only a week long break equates to most of my time off.

So, tomorrow, or I guess technically today, I will wake up, eat breakfast, do some stretches, and stay awake for the duration of my normal day without sleeping for a completely unnecessary 5 extra hours. I may need an energy drink, but I'll do it damnit!

2.24.2008

Lists of things that keep me awake

>just kickin some ass
---
A list of the random shit that goes through my head

-I don't understand Kid Rock. His image is pretty much being a badass of sorts, and a lot of his music pretty much goes with it. However, on his latests album Rock and Roll Jesus he's got songs like "Amen" and "All Summer Long" which are loaded full of sentimental, religious bullshit. Totally not Kid Rock there. Besides, his next songs, "So Hott" and "Sugar" are loaded with lines like:
SO HOT I wanna get you alone
SO HOT I wanna get you stoned
SO HOT I dont wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again

or these excerpts from Sugar:
And I fuck hot pussy until it's cold
You can kiss my Anglo-Saxon ass
I'm the illest mutha fucker on the God damn planet


(Now keep in mind, the lyrics right there are from 2 songs directly after the sentimental religious shit I mentioned earlier.)

Now that's the shit I like to see! This is the Kid Rock we all love/loathe. I don't think anyone wants to pay money to have him talk about sending his kids to church or some girlfriend he had back in the day. We want the real Kid Rock. The 40 oz. malt liquor chugging, swear up a storm, donkey punch your wife Kid Rock. Now we're talking!


-Have you ever had to take a massive shit? Of course you have. However, when you sit, have you ever had a really difficult time gettin' that little fucker out? Like, it's almost too big for your asshole to process? It's usually really hard too. Like someone put a baseball sized rock in your rectum. Well, after the horrifying experience is over, don't you ever feel like your asshole is "spaced out"? It feels larger than before, like you forced something so big through it that it stretched it.

Let me say this: I had one so bad the other day, that after I left, it felt like I had been at a goddamned porno shoot for hours. It felt that large. Yeah, I know that's fucked up.

-What would it be like to write scripts for pornos? Like the cheesy ass dialogue. I really want to know how they do it for stuff like Big Sausage Pizza, First Fat Chick, and anything that picks up "random girls" on the street.



2.15.2008

Deadly Nuerotoxin

>keep 'em guessing
>i loved you more, than the week i did before i discovered alcohol.
---
So, like I said, I beat Portal.

It was awesome. Really awesome.

I don't get hyped for very many games very easily, and it's really rare for me to love anything I play, but this exceeded expectations by a long shot. I had been following it for a while and had watched my brothers play through the game a number of times, but always said I'd wait for my own copy to play it so that I wouldn't spoil the fun, and it was totally worth it.

Everything about it is done so fantastic and fits so well that you can't complain about anything. Tight control, wonderful music (especially "Still Alive"), GLaDOS - the best character ever, ingenious level design, and a great length to the story. Although I knew the game was short, I couldn't believe it was literally "beat it in one sitting" short, well, until I beat it in one sitting. Really though, it helped the game sort of "contain" itself by keeping it close to its central theme instead of branching off in all sorts of ways. I liked that, just like Cloverfield.

I don't think I need to go into all the stuff about the portal gun and the weighted companion cube and all, but one thing that a lot of people fail to mention is how awesome the developer commentary is. Really. Maybe all the people that wrote about the game a few months ago when it came out knew everything there is to know about the way Portal was engineered and designed (yeah right...), but I for one didn't, and the sheer amount of complexity and precision this game was pulled off with is staggering. I have an even greater respect for game designers now, especially the minds behind Portal. I'm applauding you right now.

If the pictures still not clear or you want the "tl;dr" version, Portal is one of the most original, ass kicking, hilarious, ingenious, brilliant, clever, smart, and interesting games you'll ever play. And to top it all off, you'll be begging for more afterwards. Instant classic in my book.

2.11.2008

Sounds Like Work

>sleep-o-tron
>fuck
>PANIK
---
Regina Spektor played over the radio at work today. Needless to say, I was oddly overjoyed to hear it whilst in the dismal clutches of my job.

I noticed that they play a lot of Fall Out Boy too. A lot. Like, as in I'll hear at least 3 different songs on any given shift. I like them, but it's just kind of odd how much I hear them.

Besides them, the only other thing you'll hear when working is A) me singing "The Black Parade" aloud, B) me repeatedly singing the line "Born to be wi-ild", C) constant screaming of "YOUUUUU!" from that fucking Soulja Boy song (we all hate it, but it helps the time pass to piss everyone else off), or D) some other random ass song that I feel needs to be a part of the communal work time experience. For example, today me and Terry did a performance of "Regulators" by Warren G and Nate Dogg. Truly awesome indeed.

I beat both Portal and Bioshock, so now I'm off to conquer the looming beast that is Half Life 2. I'll get back to you on my thoughts on all three.

1.31.2008

Sub par

Traditional British Shoes
---
My life is absolutely sub par as of late. Work is shitty, which is kind of unusual because I usually don't judge my work, I just take it at face value.

My classes are alright, it's just that I need to manage my time better so that I get to do something fun and productive when I have free time. I mean, I'm really starting to want to get back into art related stuff, start writing more, for fun, music, and blogging, and finally learn FL Studio so that me and my brother can get our group up and running. I don't care if anything I do goes anywhere, I just want the experience, and there's always a chance we could do something new and make a name for ourselves.

Other than that, I'm up to nothing. Besides waiting for the new Smash Brothers of course.

1.25.2008

Oh Fields of Clover!

its a strange kind of terror
work 5-11
ITS A MONSTER
---
Cloverfield was an absolutely fantastic movie. Of course, I was already psyched about it, plus there are hardly any cool monster movies like that, so that made it so much more rewarding. Some of the major complaints I heard about the movie were that it was too short, the camera made people sick, and that you couldn't see the monster. Surprisingly, I didn't seem to have any of those problems.

Now, don't get me wrong, the movie was short. About 71 or some odd minutes of actual stuff. Really though, not at all a problem. I think that with what the movie had to offer, the length was perfect for telling the story in semi-real time over the course of one night. Secondly, the camera was shaky, but not sickening. Maybe because I play so many videogames I'm not at easily nauseated by shaky camera movements as other people. I don't know though, thats all I have. Lastly, you do get to see the monster. Yes, parts are brief and you never get a perfect view of it, but it's just enough to keep you wondering what the hell is going on.

1.19.2008

Worst Day

prty n bllshit
---
Yesterday was probably the worst day in recent memory. My internet kept going in and out, I felt like shit, my knee is all messed up, we were short 2 people at work, and I got a flat tire. Awesome.

Work was especially shitty because of the kitchen manager. She said she'd work my stuff for me while I did all the cleaning stuff for the other people. I was pissed, but at least I didn't have to do my normal stuff too. Wrong. Right at 9:00, the time when I usually leave, she leaves. The fucking twat didn't do anything the whole night, so I had to go back and do a whole mess of other stuff. Damnit. I didn't leave until around 10:45, and I got to walk up to my car with a flat tire.

I think I'm gonna go take out some rage on people in Rapture.

1.16.2008

Down!

AFK TO THE MAX!!
---
Yeah, my internet died for about 4 or 5 days last week, so it was actually really rough for me not being able to do email and such for a while.

Looking back at the last month, it's ridiculous at how much I've started gaming again. I always thought of myself as a "gamer", and I like keeping up on all the industry news and new releases and games, but I never really play all too many, and I complete even less. This last month however, I really started playing seriously again. I sat down and played like 7 hours of Bioshock, did some single player and LAN on Diablo 2, started loading up The Orange Box, and did some Smash Brothers. Needless to say, it was fantastic. Once I complete Bioshock in another day or two, I'm thinking about jumping on into Super Mario Galaxy.

Now, I like Nintendo, but I don't really like any of their games, or the main ones at least. About the only games by them that I've actually sat down and played seriously are Mario Kart, Animal Crossing, Wii Sports, Pokemon, and Smash Brothers. I'm not too big of a Mario fan, never got into Metroid, and I can't play more than 30 minutes of a Zelda game for whatever reason. Super Mario Galaxy however, is a completely different story. The first time I saw it in action at home, I was completely blown away. Everything about it is beautiful, unique, and fun looking. The music is spectacular, and everything else just ties it together into one awesome looking spacey-platforming adventure.

Now more TF2!

1.05.2008

Happy New Year I Guess...

its ALL WRONG
-
FUCK
-
less than stellar
---
So it's a new year, 2008 to be more specific. Anything new? No. Not yet at least, but hell, it's only been 5 days. As if for some reason I haven't said this before to myself and/or others, I plan to keep my resolutions this year and make something of myself. I want to do an album with my brother, get some of my other music released with other people, get on track with school, start my artwork making back up, and start getting out there in the world. I want to meet people through parties, my music, and my drawings. I want to be part of a social scene with anyone I can get with. I figure, it's time to start getting my name out there, even with random ass nobodies just for the publicity. Maybe someday I'll be able to use my creative abilities for something great.

Maybe that could be a reason why I've felt like shit lately. I have great, original ideas, but never execute them. I think that it's time that my ambitions started to take form and I work my hardest to make whatever dreams I have come true. Yeah, I know for a fact that I tend to be pessimistic and cynical most of the time, but I know for certain that what I have to make and share with people is great shit. It's often time weird and out there, but entertaining nonetheless. I fly all my ideas past a couple of people like my brothers and a few friends, and although I'm usually met with some sort of exasperated sigh because my ideas usually begin with some sort of pun or play on words, I always get good some kind of good feedback.

I know that anyone could say "They're only telling you what you want to hear!", but I know better, and I know that it's not true. My brothers and father rip my ideas apart piece by piece because of how "stupid" they are, but always end up 20 minutes later going "hey, even though we just made fun of it, it is kind of interesting and new". I get laughed at all the time for the ideas I have shared, but people usually end up feeling that they are overall well developed and intriguing.

Anyway, I could talk for hours about my other ambitions with art/design and music, but I think that's for another time.

12.30.2007

Pass the Past

lets get nostalgic
---
With whatever I have right now, it leaves a hell of a lot to be desired. I'm missing something in my life, and it ruins everything. Sure, I can seem happy, but I still don't think that I've got it all. Everyone else seems to have all their shit figured out and ready to go, while I sit here wondering what the hell to do with myself, and how to finally go about doing it.

Yeah, I fucking already know that for pretty much everyone out there it's not an easy ride, but it's just the fact that this illusion exists and is so powerful all the time. I know for a fact that things aren't perfect for others, especially after a few days ago, but I still can't help but want to hate the world for now. Yeah, life isn't fair, nothings fair, blah blah blah. If anyone knows the way the world functions, its going to be me since I'm a no nonsense kinda guy when it comes to life.

Still, I fell like shit. I feel lonely. I feel weak. I feel vulnerable. I feel like theres something terribly fucked up. It isn't right. I like to brush stuff off and keep on going in my old humorous, no nonsense, spur of the moment ways, but I feel stuck now, trapped. Nothing seems right. Like puzzle pieces just forced together, it just doesn't mesh. Looking back at the previous year, I'd love to think that I'm at an all time low, and I probably am. I need more people in my life, and not just anybody, but as much as I hate to admit it, I really doubt that I can get things the way they were forever, or ever again.

12.28.2007

Mrs. Mystery!

[adult swim]
-
ITS THE UFOS!
-
Work until 11ish T_T
---
Funny thing today. I was leaving work at 11:20pm or so, and as I was crossing the street and turning the corner, the driver of the car stopped at the light quickly turned her head, eyes all lit up, and started waving at me all excited. I just kind of smiled and waved back since my obviously slow mind didn't make the connection that it was someone who seemed to have known me. A second later though, it finally occurred that maybe they knew me and wanted to say "hello" or something, but I figured it was too late for me to turn around and walk back to the car- besides, it was a traffic stop and they were probably pulling away in a couple seconds anyway.

Now, I tried to figure out who it was, and judging from the way her hair looked curled, I instantly assumed it was one friend of mine. The hair color matched, the curls, possibly the car, the location, it all seemed pretty probable to me. Of course, it wasn't her. She had no idea what I was talking about. Okay then, so who the hell was it? I mean, I don't really know of anyone else that looked like that, even though I guess that it was dark and I couldn't really make out who it was. Still, I don't have a call, email, facebook comment, text, or any of that other stuff from whoever this was. I know it's not necessary for them to do that, but it tends to happen that if you bump into people for whatever reason, they usually happen to leave you some sort of message about how they saw you. You know, in case anything that happened before two hours ago was suddenly erased from memory?

Maybe I'll find out tomorrow. Maybe it was just some nice person trying to be friendly to someone they don't even know. Until then, I'll be losing sleep over this, cause what if it was a friend and they saw me brush them off like that since I really honestly didn't even comprehend what the hell was going on until it was too late? I'm sure it's not going to be that drastic, but still, crazier stuff has happened.