I Don't Wanna

>>brutal
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I feel no motivation to do anything. I barely want to play videogames most of the time. I just cant bring myself to really do much of anything and it's the worst feeling in the world. Why does nothing seem to interest me anymore? I just read The Lost Symbol and while I finished it, I can't say that I was all that interested in what I was reading. Maybe it was the book, though it is right up my alley for the kind of subject matter I look to read about.

PROTIP: Piracetam makes everything taste like shit, including protein shakes.

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For starting my summer so productive, I've really come to a standstill on accomplishing anything. Partially it has to do with my former employer, Buddy's Pizza, who thanks to what seems to be both incompetent and bitter management have fired me from my job, yet LIED on their paperwork to make it out that I quit, which means I can't get unemployment. Doesn't matter though because I'm fairly positive I can get unemployment or force them to give me a job back. Either way, I have more than enough ammo for a full blown lawsuit against them and I plan on doing as much as I can to make sure the people responsible for doing this to me get screwed just as hard as they tried to screw me.

I AINT NO BITCH AND YOU AINT GONNA TRY TO FUCK ME LIKE ONE.

Random Thoughts Recap

we need more oil for the machines to burn
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I finally beat Shining Force 2, or in this case Resurrection of the Dark Dragon. Doing nothing but taking it easy since my heart acted up gave me a lot of time and motivation for finishing all the shit I never completed. Shining Force took me almost 11 years to beat since I've played it multiple times on emulators for PC, Dreamcast, and finally completed a game on my GBA copy. Feels good man. Ending was good, but nothing terribly amazing or over the top. Either way, it was a blast to play with all the fun characters and battles.

So now I've started playing Professor Layton and the Curious Village which I messed around with last year but never started a file on. This game fucking rocks. The animations are well done, the characters are well designed, the fact that there is an adventure type game on the DS is awesome, and the hundreds of puzzles are all really entertaining and occasionally frustrating. I can't begin to describe how annoyed I get when I try to figure a puzzle out for 15 minutes only to finally realize the question itself features some sort of wordplay or oh-so-subtle hint that instantly gives the solution away.

E3 is only a week away and I am pretty excited to see what everybody is going to be showing off. I'm most pumped about the 3DS since I love Nintendo handhelds and since its an actual successor to the DS which I think is one of the most quality systems I've ever used. I'm curious to see what the new Zelda will look like and feature as well as if there will actually be a new Kirby game(hopefully for Wii since there's very little console love for Kirby). Outside of Nintendo, I want to see what Natal has in store, and especially how much it will actually cost. For some insane reason I doubt that a majority of xbox users will want this thing -they want SHOOTAN GAEMS. Sony is the most questionable for me since the PSP essentially sucks, PS3 has no appeal to me outside of it being a blu-ray player, and their motion controller looks pretty ridiculous.

I've got a lot more to say, but that will be tomorrow...

Not the Macaulay Culkin kind

I'm looking for an answer in every single room. Home alone, and all I see are problems I won't trouble myself to solve, but trouble me to the point of physical breakdown. They're not mine, but I'm still affected, and in the worst possible ways. A failing system begets a failing ruler who plummets all into chaos, clutter, and in one case agony.

Trying to kill me

not dying yet
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I've got that feeling of dread. Doom is upon me. Something is trying to kill me and I'm not sure how to handle it.

Chemtrails

CHEMTRAILS IN THE SKY
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I don't know if it was just exhaust from the airways above my house, but the grid of eerie colored smoke covering the sky the other night made me think it looked a little too unnatural.

The Playboy energy drink has the same color scheme as a Rockstar, a black can, and it sits next to the other Rockstar flavors in the cooler. By accidentally purchasing one, I'll accidentally give it a 6/10.

Starcraft 2 is the answer to my dreams and the cause of a nightmare of scheduling conflicts. I pencil others in around my play time...

It Starts Again

starcraft2 beta- time to neglect loved ones
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I'm completely in love with the Starcraft 2 beta. It's the same game I fell in love with years ago, yet still completely full of surprises and awesome moments that keep me playing and playing until I can't think anymore, then going back and watching my replays.

I'm alright with Terran, I've almost got my Zerg build orders straight, and although I initially wanted to play Protoss they're the only ones I have had difficulty getting right while fighting people. Thankfully the new, expanded beta brought a lot of newer players into the game which made it easy for me to rack up a few wins and get some easy time to get a grip on how everything works. Unfortunately, I get distracted watching the battles and cool graphics on the units and end up not building or managing economy for a few moments.

GL HF DD KA

Distortion World

wouldnt be caught dead in this place

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I started playing Pokemon Platinum again. It's the shit. Have 7 badges, caught Girantina, about to get the 8th badge tonight or over the course of the week. Infernape is an alright starter, its the first time I have ever not chosen the water type. Gengar is sweet as hell, of course, and I still have a Dragonair and Pupitar, both level 48. I'll have both Dragonite and Tyranitar soon since they also both evolve at 55 which is sorely needed.

I don't know what it is, but Pupitar is kind of shitty with its spread of stats. It barely excels in any one area (technically it has high attack, but whatever...) and its low speed usually means I don't even get to go on a killing spree since hes forced to take more hits than any of my other guys. He's been the hardest to level up, but once I get Tyranitar I'll be perfect. I've never actually used a Dragonite or Tyranitar on a team before except for filling up the pokedex and I already like how it's going to turn out. Dragonair is already the shit and it only gets better once it learns hyper beam.

What Memory?

dont flatter yourself
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"Hey, you see my new bowl?"
"Really?"
...
"What?"
"Dude, I used it with you 5 hours ago."
"Oh, shit then..."

Decade

its MY decade

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Well shit, it's a new decade already. Don't know where the past 10 years went since I have little to show for them. Time is so depressing to think about, especially because you only know how much you had once it's already gone.

Time is the fire in which we burn.

Thank you Delmore Schwartz.

Clarity Wasted

Concerta and Piracetam. So clear, fluid, fast, smooth. It was unreal. It still is.

I'm wasting it on my speech. Should have not procrastinated.

Around and Beyond

sweet nothing

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The paper I wrote about writing got a solid 95 for a grade.

I haven't listened to Frou Frou for a long time and it was oddly refreshing and comforting to hear.

Mario Kart DS is the fuckin shit. You couldn't convince me not to play it. I rediscovered magic.

Speaking of which, I decided to pick up reading the Bible. Genesis is interesting so far, I'm on chapter 17.

I've been asleep more than I've been awake the past week. Relaxing, but scary and unproductive.

Good at What I Do.

ive got this friend named alza...
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I'm so good at waiting until the last minute that I put the pro in procrastination.

Basically, I wrote some ridiculous 3800 word essay on the philosophies behind The
Matrix in one sitting yesterday. Shit sucked, paper rocks. Maybe my professor will think the same.

All I want is a big capital A on the front of it.

Lights Out

learning nothing
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So it was around 1 a.m. and I was hunting for snacks. Right there, on the bay window was a Reese's cup. First thing, verbatim, in my mind was "Fuck yeah! This shit is mine!" I took it and ate it, took a step back, and thought "Wow. Whose was that?". The most annoying shit in the world, when people eat my food without asking or even telling me it's gone, had just been done by me. Don't hate the hypocrite.

Looking through our towel drawer in the kitchen, I found a ridiculous assortment of potentially useful items missing key elements to actually being useful. We have a lot of candles, and enough birthday candles to easily celebrate someone's 110th birthday. Also, at least 6 flashlights. However, we do not have a single lighter or package of batteries in the entire house. I checked.

I guess we're prepared for a power failure, so long as it doesn't get dark.

Everything at Once

we had a good run
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So much to do and so much time to do it. That must be why I take 3 hour naps, go on 4chan until the sun rises, and play multiple hour BlazBlue sessions.

I need a work ethic.

Pay Attention Now...

They preach what they're told, not what they know

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I get it buddy. You're the victim of some complicated, convoluted, and oh so compelling whirlwind of neglect, bad relationships, and even worse situations. Spare me the details, I don't care about your rainbow flag, "save the children" fanfares, or effortless excellence in theatrics and drama.

Really, it's hard not to get annoyed sometimes.

Wine NA

imazombie

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I'm drinking an apple and white grape juice box. This stuff tastes like wine without the alcohol and some sugar added. Goddamn it's good.

Is Credit to Team!

some speak in tongues, while so many others spit out bullshit
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I think I need to be more alert when I tell people shit, because I'm pretty positive that people take what I say and give themselves credit.

For instance, my rule for calling shotgun is if you can realistically hit it with a tennis ball, you can call it. No windows, walls, fences, blocked lines of sight, or anything of that sort. It makes sense to me at least - if you can hit the car, chances are you're within a distance where the cars getting boarded within a couple seconds.

Well, I brought that up the other day, and got the surprise of being informed how that goes "all the way back to middle school". Funny. I only came up with that about 4-5 years ago, I didn't know this person in middle school, and WE DIDN'T HAVE FUCKING CARS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. WE WERE 12 YEARS OLD.

I've got shit to do!

awesome nap, awesome dreams
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I've got shit to do right now- I'm just not doing it.

This is a problem.

Actually its a reoccurring theme.

I need my life proofread and edited.

Bizarre Combinations

"sleep"
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I pulled into the gas station today, and next to me was some lady, late 20's, talking on her cell phone, red faced and crying, pumping gas. It kind of made my day, I honestly never thought I'd get to see a grown woman in tears pumping gasoline. You gotta believe!