A Movie Review

dragonball evolution
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So last night the movie Dragonball Evolution got leaked, in English, onto youtube. Since it was about 2 a.m. and I was bored as hell, yet not tired, I decided to browse the /tv/ boards. Lo and behold, there was the link. So I decided to watch it.

After the first 10 minutes, I thought to myself "Well, this isn't that bad. Maybe I'd see it in theaters with friends." There were the standard deviations that occur when translating a 10 year old anime into a live action film, so although not blown away, I could accept the movie for what it was.

Well, it only went downhill from there. The poor quality of the video, combined with intense fatigue from the previous days of punishment at work and school didn't help it in any way either. With about 35 minutes left of the movie, I decided to IM a friend of mine to share some of the pain with...

(commentary inserted randomly in bold)

tomkamrad (2:24:07 AM): dude

TDan953 (2:24:26 AM): ?

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Auto Response from tomkamrad (2:24:26 AM): flip the trap

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tomkamrad (2:24:43 AM): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M7lgNEQKto&feature=PlayList&p=26583D10695E45D3&index=0

tomkamrad (2:24:54 AM): this is unfortunately REAL

TDan953 (2:25:39 AM): Oh gad

tomkamrad (2:25:57 AM): Im almost done watching it all

TDan953 (2:26:03 AM): x_X

tomkamrad (2:26:29 AM): I guess I'm a movie masochist

TDan953 (2:26:51 AM): Apparently that movie did really well in Asia
(proof that Asian box offices mean shit)

tomkamrad (2:27:33 AM): Well, it's nothing at all like the anime

TDan953 (2:27:41 AM): Yeah...

tomkamrad (2:27:47 AM): Yamcha is a total bro

TDan953 (2:27:53 AM): Speaking of which, did you see they're redoing the anime?

tomkamrad (2:27:54 AM): like, he actually says bro all the fucking time

TDan953 (2:27:59 AM): rofl

tomkamrad (2:28:04 AM): redone anime?!

TDan953 (2:28:09 AM): http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/03/16/dragonball-evolution-tops-asian-box-offices/

TDan953 (2:28:10 AM): Yeah dude

TDan953 (2:28:57 AM): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl-EUfU_fcA

TDan953 (2:29:23 AM): http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2009-03-02/toei-confirms-dragon-ball-kai-is-edited-to-follow-manga

tomkamrad (2:30:32 AM): woah, this is totally awesome
(seriously, I'm kinda excited)

tomkamrad (2:31:06 AM): okay, so theres only about 20mins left of the movie, and hes just learning kamehameha

TDan953 (2:31:19 AM): wat

tomkamrad (2:31:39 AM): and chichis massive father never makes an appearence
(I was really hoping for that massive man to make it to the big screen)

TDan953 (2:31:44 AM): =(

tomkamrad (2:33:03 AM): im crying

TDan953 (2:33:13 AM): QQ

tomkamrad (2:33:28 AM): WHO GAVE THIS THE OKAY

TDan953 (2:33:35 AM): WRYYYYYYYYY

tomkamrad (2:33:58 AM): AT ONE POINT SOMEBODY THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA AND WILLINGLY PUT OUT MILLIONS TO MAKE THIS MOVIE

TDan953 (2:34:14 AM): Apparently they're making more.
(I just died a little inside after hearing this)

tomkamrad (2:35:22 AM): bulma is like a weapons master

TDan953 (2:35:30 AM): psyduck.png

tomkamrad (2:35:33 AM): lol

tomkamrad (2:35:41 AM): stop 4channing me

TDan953 (2:35:46 AM): lulz

TDan953 (2:35:55 AM): So, what've you been up to these days?

tomkamrad (2:36:19 AM): school, work, r9k

TDan953 (2:36:29 AM): Ah

TDan953 (2:36:33 AM): Where're you working?

tomkamrad (2:36:38 AM): started doing artworks again

tomkamrad (2:36:42 AM): buddy's

TDan953 (2:36:48 AM): orly

tomkamrad (2:36:54 AM): f'sho

TDan953 (2:37:00 AM): Got anything you can show me?

tomkamrad (2:37:10 AM): not currently

tomkamrad (2:37:22 AM): i need to sit my ass down and scan stuff for once

tomkamrad (2:37:46 AM): OMG ROSHI JUST USED KAMEHAMEHA TO BRING GOKU BACK TO LIFE

TDan953 (2:37:59 AM): wat

TDan953 (2:38:02 AM): Does that even make sense?

tomkamrad (2:38:11 AM): HE REENERGIZED HIM
(total bullshit. THEY SHOOT THE ENERGYBEAMS TO KILL SHIT not heal the sick and help the poor)

tomkamrad (2:38:16 AM): phaillllll

TDan953 (2:38:47 AM): Indeed

tomkamrad (2:39:05 AM): this movie is so jumpy

tomkamrad (2:39:22 AM): 7 minutes ago, goku learned kamehameha then started kissing chichi

tomkamrad (2:39:53 AM): hes already died in a gunfight, and now theyre fleeing this temple because piccolo has all 7 balls and is about to destroy the world

TDan953 (2:40:14 AM): >_>

TDan953 (2:40:23 AM): This movie sounds impossibly horrible.

tomkamrad (2:40:43 AM): apparently now, piccolo was sealed away 2000 years ago

tomkamrad (2:41:18 AM): hes a fucking alien

tomkamrad (2:41:24 AM): this isnt inuyasha

TDan953 (2:41:42 AM): alksdjfawelfkejafelk

TDan953 (2:41:49 AM): I think we're being trolled
(i know we're being trolled at this point)

tomkamrad (2:42:02 AM): real hardcore

TDan953 (2:42:07 AM): 10/10

tomkamrad (2:42:38 AM): okay, 12 minutes left of the movie

tomkamrad (2:42:49 AM): goku just got in a hummer accident

tomkamrad (2:43:02 AM): and walks out of the wreckage in his orange uniform

tomkamrad (2:43:12 AM): he wasnt wearing it before

tomkamrad (2:43:50 AM): now theres and eclipse

tomkamrad (2:44:07 AM): and goku is turning into a wolfman

tomkamrad (2:44:15 AM): i suppose its supposed to be his ape form

TDan953 (2:45:10 AM): =|

TDan953 (2:45:39 AM): ...Wait, eclipse?

TDan953 (2:45:46 AM): Isn't it supposed to be on the full moon?

tomkamrad (2:45:46 AM): oh yeah

tomkamrad (2:45:57 AM): theres an eclipse thats going to end the world

tomkamrad (2:46:25 AM): because its the sign of the apocalpse

TDan953 (2:46:38 AM): >_>

tomkamrad (2:46:56 AM): bulma is kinda hot
(really, she was)

tomkamrad (2:47:14 AM): youtube quality video doesn't help though

tomkamrad (2:48:01 AM): also, still no flying nimbus, extendopole, dinosaurs, krillin, or red ribbon army

TDan953 (2:48:22 AM): =<

tomkamrad (2:48:46 AM): I MUST HAVE FAITH IN WHO I AM
(so deep, im getting this tatood on myself one day)

tomkamrad (2:51:26 AM): THATS THE FUCKING DRAGON?
(phailtrain has officially left the station at this point)

tomkamrad (2:51:51 AM): OMG WORST MOVIE EVER

TDan953 (2:52:13 AM): D:

tomkamrad (2:52:20 AM): hooooooooooly shit

tomkamrad (2:52:58 AM): no no no no no no

tomkamrad (2:53:22 AM): i cannot believe i just watched this whole thing
(90 minutes of torture, and its 3a.m. to boot, my god i was tired as shit at this point)

TDan953 (2:53:38 AM): I think you're required by law to commit seppuku now

TDan953 (2:54:02 AM): The founding fathers foresaw this movie. It's in the motherfucking Constitution

TDan953 (2:54:59 AM): That said, I should be getting to bed. See ya.

(i dont blame him for leaving at this point)